, mating, and perhaps procreating, she would likely receive some sentimental response relating to the magic of sharing an intense emotional bond with another person, the comfort of having someone to grow old with, or, for some couples, the wonder of bringing new life to the world and experiencing the joys of parenthood. Very few people would answer "because it saves times and money," because that sounds awful and heartless. But it's also true. The emotional aspects are only part of the benefits of being in a relationship.
I'm well aware being single has its perks. I can eat what I want, when I want. I can go to bed early, sleep in the dead center of my mattress, and have only the cat to disturb me. I can work in silence when I need to and dance and sing obnoxiously when I want to (at least until my downstairs neighbor pounds on the ceiling). However, in other ways, beyond just the lack of companionship, being single sucks. It sucks time, money, and energy.
Last weekend I decided to tackle a list of home improvement projects. It seemed like a small list, one that would take a few hours if all went well, which I was smart enough to know wasn't likely. Still, I planned on part of a day, five or six hours, tops. Two fourteen hour days later, I collapsed on the couch finally finished and ready to enjoy the fruits of my labor-except by then the weekend was over, and I was back to work. What went wrong? Nothing. At least nothing I hadn't expected: the plaster needed major patching, I needed more touch-up paint, best 3some Home Depot was incompetent at cutting the blind, and I should have been about four inches taller. What I hadn't factored in were the regular chores that needed to get done. I still needed to shop, do laundry, pay bills, make lunches, clean, correct papers, and write. Now, I'm a huge proponent of breaking the gender boundaries. I strongly believe girls should be allowed to play contact sports, a woman should be president, and all females should know how to use power tools. But just because I cando everything myself, doesn't mean I want to. I would be perfectly happy playing June Clever and handing my hubby a beer while heswore at Home Depot, cursed the crappy plaster, and nearly took out the flatscreen trying to balance a ten foot curtain rod in one hand and the level in another. Heck, I might have even offered to help hold something (the pumpkin beer, perhaps?). After all, there is something to the old adage "many hands make light work." Even if Mr. Right isn't Tim the Toolman Taylor, some help is better than none.
This is true of finances as well. Looking at my bank statement after a weekend of playing HGTV, I nearly choked. Perhaps things wouldn't have seemed so bad if I knew the hit would be divided between two salaries. Couples tend to have this misguided view that they have double the expenses, so being single isn't really more of a financial burden. I wish this were true. Unfortunately, the companies that provide cable, internet, phones, other utilities, home insurance, and mortgages don't provide a singles discount. I don't even get a pity-rate for premium channels so I have something to watch when I'm home alone on a weekend night. And the "marriage penalty" couples hear about when tax season rolls around is a myth. Most couples save money by filing taxes jointly. Apparently the federal government thinks it right to reward any two parties who can work and live together, something they themselves are incapable of achieving.
But, hey, it's the single person's fault really. Admit it, some of you are thinking it. If someone dislikes being single so much, she can just go date more, right? In theory, yes. As soon as I finish writing this article, cleaning my condo, correcting my students' papers, and planning my meals for the week, I'll get right on it. I'll use all my extra time and cash to join a time-sucking online dating service, sign-up for a few ridiculously expensive singles events, and buy myself a couple nice over-priced outfits to go out in. Then I'll spend the rest of the afternoon riding my unicorn. (Hey, if we're living in a fantasy world, I should at least get to have a unicorn.) The reality is dating is even more expensive and time-consuming than being single.
None of this means singles should resign themselves to a life of being lonely, busy, and poor. It means we can fill our lives with wonderful friends and family, enjoy the occasional solitude, and grow into excellent time and money managers. Besides, time and money are what you make of them. When it comes right down to it, I'm happy to have what I do and hopeful that someday soon I'll have someone to share it with-both the love and the laundry!